Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
