At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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