Me too!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Farmville is her only friend.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
