even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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