Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
