Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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