in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
