You're so nebulous sometimes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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