True but thats because hes a fetus.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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