There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
