im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
