idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
