Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
the night ended with taco bell and tears
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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