I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
