i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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