You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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