No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
