Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
