How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
