You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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