Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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