the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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