if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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