i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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