How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
