ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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