CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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