There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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