Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
