Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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