He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
