just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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