im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
