Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My ass is underappreciated
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
