I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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