I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's always time for handjobs
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
