I love black thongs
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
