Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
