Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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