Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize