I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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