Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
