ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I could fuck to npr.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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