My first STD was from a foam party
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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