You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
