His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
