So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
