that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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