I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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