Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
