? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
