Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize