Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
