Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
