just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
