He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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