The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize