just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
