So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
