i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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