She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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