Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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