i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize