if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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