Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
