Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
