i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
