before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
