Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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