Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
