Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(701): View more from North Dakota

So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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(303): View more from Colorado

We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down

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(317): View more from Indiana

We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo

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(207): View more from Maine

You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...

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(303): View more from Colorado

I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?

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(443): View more from Maryland

I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it

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(646): View more from New York

Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting

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