I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
