I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
