watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He shit in the fireplace
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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