I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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