I just made out with a guy for $7.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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