Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
